Dear friends, I have decided to take a blog-break...I don't know if it will be a permanent break or if I'll be back, since I'm suffering a bit from lack of inspiration (not that there isn't a lot of things happening in my life), lack of feedback to my writing (does anyone read anymore what I write?), and soon I'll also be without internet -or until we manage to get connected in the new flat (we'll move next week). Take care all of you,
Oscar, XX and parents
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
The less you blog...
...the less you blog! I know it sounds like a tautologia, but it's really just a simple fact of life -and the main reason for why I've not been blogging so much lately. And since I've started this blog in such a philosophical way, I thought I'd share with you a few advice.
Well, if you have just learnt to drink water from a big bottle, like the one the grown ups drink from. And if you are quite happy with yourself for the new acquirement and thus insist on drinking from any bottle you see "lying around the house", then make sure NOT to overdo it if you have just been changed for the night. If you still decide to go ahead with it, then don't be surprised if the diaper literally explodes early in the morning, and you'll get all covered with the gelling material that absorbs the pee -which makes you look as if it has just snowed on you, and your mum will get quite desperate to clean away the snow before you started to try and eat it.
Another practical advice is NOT to bring your favourite teddy bear with you when you get changed. Ever. Especially not if your parents haven't understood that you are only half way through a heavy production and you're forced to let the rest out as you're lying on the changing table, just after the diaper has been removed and your parents have started cleaning your butt. If you're so unfortunate to have your favourite teddy bear with you in such an unlucky circumstances, do keep him in a close embrace position and not get tempted to let him have a look at the disaster zone -or your parents, that might not have very clean hands, will be forced to things that they will not be very proud of later!
If you live in a very small house, with a tiny tiny kitchen, and the top of the washing maschine -which cannot be placed in the garage for then its tubes will freeze during winter- is the only available working place that you have in the kitchen, and you find yourself mincing chicken meat in a blender to make chicken burgers as you and your baby are tired of the same old chicken-breasts in a pan, then do pay attention to the following advice. If the washing maschine happens to be centrifuging (and therefore making a lot of noise) while you're operating the blender, then do NOT open the lid of the blender until you've doublechecked that you've turned it off! But if you do open it, allow yourself be surprised by watching how far halfminced chicken meat is able to travel!
If you like climbing and the furniture in your home is the only mountain-chain you have available for such a thrilling sport, and if you like these challanges especially when your parents are busying themselves with something else, somewhere else in the house (and therefore not there to grab you when you fall), and if you've decided that the next peak to conquest is the microwave oven which is irresistably placed on a chest just behind your pile of toys. Then do pay attention to the direction in which the microwave-oven-door opens, before using it as a grip on your way to the top!
If you tend to drop your food, accidentally -or not, on the floor while dining, and your mum is absent minded and doesn't clean it up right away and your house is leaky like a sieve and therefore prone to invasions of a tiny black army, then do not get tempted to use the dropped pieces as emergency food later on. Especially not if the tiny black army got there first -which you will understand from the black dots covering the piece of food and the fact that the food seems to be travelling very slowly across your dining-room floor.
If you live in a different timezone from a little boy like me, and if you do appreciate a good nights sleep, then please remember to turn the volume of your phone off while sleeping for you never know when a little boy like me gets his hands on his mum's mobile phone and feels a strange urge to make a phonecall using the address-book saved on the SIM-card to randomly selct a victim. And if you are a little boy like me, and do like to make phonecalls when you get your hands on your mum's mobile phone, the DO use the address-book saved on the SIM card to choose the victim for all numbers you happen to dial by yourself are answered by a boring lady that doesn't want to talk to you and keeps repeating that this is no-mans number -in which case I don't think she should be responding at all!
If you do love your parents very much, and would like to have the same privileged (or monopolic) access to them for many many years to come, then do not act the role of a sweet and lovable child but try let out the rougher side of your self, in order to avoid giving your parents the idea that they can handle the situation so well that it is safe to add the number two...!
Love you all, Oscar
Well, if you have just learnt to drink water from a big bottle, like the one the grown ups drink from. And if you are quite happy with yourself for the new acquirement and thus insist on drinking from any bottle you see "lying around the house", then make sure NOT to overdo it if you have just been changed for the night. If you still decide to go ahead with it, then don't be surprised if the diaper literally explodes early in the morning, and you'll get all covered with the gelling material that absorbs the pee -which makes you look as if it has just snowed on you, and your mum will get quite desperate to clean away the snow before you started to try and eat it.
Another practical advice is NOT to bring your favourite teddy bear with you when you get changed. Ever. Especially not if your parents haven't understood that you are only half way through a heavy production and you're forced to let the rest out as you're lying on the changing table, just after the diaper has been removed and your parents have started cleaning your butt. If you're so unfortunate to have your favourite teddy bear with you in such an unlucky circumstances, do keep him in a close embrace position and not get tempted to let him have a look at the disaster zone -or your parents, that might not have very clean hands, will be forced to things that they will not be very proud of later!
If you live in a very small house, with a tiny tiny kitchen, and the top of the washing maschine -which cannot be placed in the garage for then its tubes will freeze during winter- is the only available working place that you have in the kitchen, and you find yourself mincing chicken meat in a blender to make chicken burgers as you and your baby are tired of the same old chicken-breasts in a pan, then do pay attention to the following advice. If the washing maschine happens to be centrifuging (and therefore making a lot of noise) while you're operating the blender, then do NOT open the lid of the blender until you've doublechecked that you've turned it off! But if you do open it, allow yourself be surprised by watching how far halfminced chicken meat is able to travel!
If you like climbing and the furniture in your home is the only mountain-chain you have available for such a thrilling sport, and if you like these challanges especially when your parents are busying themselves with something else, somewhere else in the house (and therefore not there to grab you when you fall), and if you've decided that the next peak to conquest is the microwave oven which is irresistably placed on a chest just behind your pile of toys. Then do pay attention to the direction in which the microwave-oven-door opens, before using it as a grip on your way to the top!
If you tend to drop your food, accidentally -or not, on the floor while dining, and your mum is absent minded and doesn't clean it up right away and your house is leaky like a sieve and therefore prone to invasions of a tiny black army, then do not get tempted to use the dropped pieces as emergency food later on. Especially not if the tiny black army got there first -which you will understand from the black dots covering the piece of food and the fact that the food seems to be travelling very slowly across your dining-room floor.
If you live in a different timezone from a little boy like me, and if you do appreciate a good nights sleep, then please remember to turn the volume of your phone off while sleeping for you never know when a little boy like me gets his hands on his mum's mobile phone and feels a strange urge to make a phonecall using the address-book saved on the SIM-card to randomly selct a victim. And if you are a little boy like me, and do like to make phonecalls when you get your hands on your mum's mobile phone, the DO use the address-book saved on the SIM card to choose the victim for all numbers you happen to dial by yourself are answered by a boring lady that doesn't want to talk to you and keeps repeating that this is no-mans number -in which case I don't think she should be responding at all!
If you do love your parents very much, and would like to have the same privileged (or monopolic) access to them for many many years to come, then do not act the role of a sweet and lovable child but try let out the rougher side of your self, in order to avoid giving your parents the idea that they can handle the situation so well that it is safe to add the number two...!
Love you all, Oscar
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