One of the simplests lessons so far was the learn-to-live-with-a-small-bladder.
When my parents were getting to know eachother many years ago in London, my father used to tease my mother saying that her small bladder had forced her to make a mental map of all the public toilets in the Great-London area.... and of the pubs and restaurants where the staff was friendly enough (or distracted enough as it might happen) to let a tourist go to the bathroom without buying anything! Well and of big stores such as Mark's and Spencers where one could go for a pee between trying on clothes and choosing the kitchenware or testing the cosmetics. My mum even thought of turning a joke into profit by writing a guide book for women in her situation. The book would have been called: Peeing in London! Where beside describing where it was easy to go for a pee, there would have been a guide to the cleanliness of each place along with information on the availability and quality of the toiletpaper! I imagine that it would have been a bestseller, and soon guidebooks to other cities would have followed!!! Can't you picture the series lying between the lonely planet guides and phrasebooks and restaurant-guides in the bookstores? And don't you agree that it would be extremely useful if there was a sticker in the pub-window declaring:
In other words my mum's bladder, compared to that of my father at least, is fairly small and, during the pregnancy, living with the bladder has become even more difficult! The number of trips to the toilet as well as the urgency of each trip have increased exponentially in the last few months. My mum has also become an expert in finding the way to the bathroom during the night without turning any lights on. Just as good that my parents' flat is as tiny as my mum's bladder! As strange as it may sound, it can also happen that my mum really really has to go to the bathroom, but then she manages only to pee a few drops! Then five minutes later she has to go again! This is ok if you are at home, but more difficult when you are, say, downtown. It sort of gives a new dimension to pubcrawling ! This peculiarity happens because sometimes when I'm stretching or doing some acrobatic exercises, I press on her urinary tract -rather than the bladder itself (or, better, both at the same time), making it impossible for my mum to pee, no matter how much she needs to go! But now she has found out that by shaking her belly, much like a bellydancer, she can relief this pressure and pee like normal! So I need to find new anatomic lessons for her!
One of the most fruitful lessons for my mum so far have been the ones on the nervous system. Until I came into existence, my mum had, what we can call, a simple relationship with her nerves! You know, cut your finger -> it hurts; pass a restaurant -> you can tell what's one todays menu; you see amosquito pass -> raise your hand to hit it -that sort of things. But now it has become clear to her that the nerves can also be stimulated "from the inside".
For example, between weeks 17-21 I pressed her sciatic nerve. Not too much, because I wouldn't want my mum to suffer, but enough that she had a shooting pain in the lower back -particularly when she was walking on asphalt. She managed to ignore it most of the time, and luckily the pain didn't lead down to her feet. Then me and the placenta moved a bit in the tight space that we have, relieved the pressure on the sciatic nerve, but instead caused a brief attack of Pubalgia. Nothing serious though -it lasted only a couple of hours, but my mum was not happy! Now she stands up with great care (rather than jumping up as she is used to) to prevent that the pain comes back, and what is worse: she is no longer allowed by the principal bellyguard (my dad) to do breaststroke, but has to swim free-style, which she doesn't like so much -but I love it! After causing the pubalgia I moved on to let my mother know that she has something that is called lateral femoral cutaneous nerve! Now if she is standing for a long time she gets a strange feeling of numbness in the right thigh, a phenomena called Meralgia Paresthetica. Again nothing serious, it will go as soon as I relief the pressure, but it's a message from me to her, that I like much more when she moves around rather than standing still!
So far I haven't played with other nerves, but wouldn't it be fun if I could reach a bit further into her body to touch other nerves, or if I could play her spinal cord like a guitar to see which effect it has on her? Let's see what I can manage in these last 4 months of the pregnancy
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